Job Vacancies - It's Like Fight Club Out There

"I see all this potential, and I see squandering" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

This coming week will mark a milestone in my career. I will be doing something my younger, shy high-school self would never have considered possible...

I will be conducting my very first job interviews. I will be interviewing real people, folks. Can you believe it? I am officially a grown-up, working professional!

It's a bit bizarre, really, considering I'm also currently in the process of applying for jobs, myself. But it will be interesting to be on the other side of the table - the fun side. I've been told I can ask whatever questions I like. Although I'm guessing, "Which Harry Potter book was your favourite?" and "Who do you think will be the first to die in the next series of The Walking Dead?" wouldn't be appropriate for the situation. Back to the drawing board, I guess.

On the other hand, I do think the Harry Potter question would be a good judge of character. If they answered "Philosopher's Stone", I'd wonder whether they ever actually made it past the first book - clearly a sign of laziness and a lack of direction. If they answered, "Chamber of Secrets", I'd question whether they were secretly a bit of a pervert, considering the lengthy list of dirty jokes that transpired amongst Potterheads after the book's release, due to the unmistakable double entendre of the title. "Prisoner of Azkaban" would leave me thinking they were harbouring some deep-rooted childhood trauma, since it was a turning point in the series and set up a much darker tone for the books to come.

"Goblet of Fire" was my least favourite of the series, so that answer would be met with an, "I see", and a calculated scribble in my notebook. The utterance of "Order of the Phoenix" would be met with a decisive shake of the head. Wrong answer. I wanted Harry to kill Professor Umbridge more than Voldemort when I read that book, she was that vile. It was a superb book, however. The film, slightly less so.

"Half-Blood Prince" would warrant an emotional hiccup from me because I still miss Dumbledore, even after all this time. I also loved that book because Harry was finally beginning his journey to defeat Voldemort, whilst still having to deal with his everyday problems, such as school work, girls, trying to avoid being murdered by death eaters, etc. And finally, if the prospective candidate were to declare that "Deathly Hallows" was their favourite of the series, I would stand up, cry out, "Hear! Hear!" and applaud them for their choice and new position in the company.

If only interviewing people were that easy! Wish me luck!


  1. You're right. The job market is just like being in fight club. I have to go up against 5,000 other graduates every time I apply for a job.

  2. Hi, Jason. Welcome to Kidnapped by Fiction! Thank you for visiting my blog and for commenting.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time finding a job at the moment. Don't give up! Everyone experiences this when they graduate. It's very competitive out there, but I guarantee that you will find an employer who is looking to hire someone just like you. If I could find a job after graduating, then so can you. Good luck with your search!


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